I don’t know if there’s any one else out there who’s ever bought a TV and lost the manual only to find later that you need it to reset the moronic V-Chip in it to watch anything but Sponge Bob but… in case anyone ever does look it up on the web, I have not found this answer anywhere else so I will post it on my blog to stand as a beacon and a thumb in the eye of Bill stupid ass Clinton and his clowny time V-Chip. To reset the Megavision Hyvision 192 TV/monitor’s V-chip setting (and for the most part any other V-Chip enabled TV who’s manual you’ve lost) all you need to do is type in 0000 (numbers not letters) and it will unlock the stupid v-chip lock. I hope this helps!
A new take on Popeye…
Ok, I am really REALLY ticked off. Three weeks ago my beloved Xbox 360 broke AGAIN ( the second time now and twice when I had my Xbox) decided that it was not going to read DVD or game discs any more.
Soooo, I sent it to Microsoft and waited the three weeks it took to get it back.
But guess what? IT WAS STILL BROKEN!
I turned on the Xbox, put a disc into it and played Lost Planet for a few hours only to find that it decided to give me the Red Rings of Death. What I find really funny about it all is that the site that I linked to Team Xbox had the same problem I did; it was sent back twice without it working correctly. So they sent their own facility two bad Xboxes!
Come ON Microsoft! That is just plain WRONG!
So I spend $350 for an XBox and you get to keep it longer than I do! That’s some racket man! Some racket indeed!
I also love the canned response that they give as well:
Customer satisfaction is our highest priority, and we do everything we can to take care of gamers who may be having problems with their consoles. The vast majority of Xbox 360 owners are having outstanding experiences with their systems, and we are sorry to hear that this particular individual had such an unfortunate experience. Each incident is unique and customer inquires are handled on a case-by-case basis. The overall return rate is within the CE industry average of 3-5%.
That’s ridiculous! Anyone who owns and XBox has had this problem. ANYONE! And if you haven’t had this problem yet you will.
What Microsoft SHOULD do is follow Palm’s excellent repair service by taking our credit card and charging us for a new xBox, then sending us the new Xbox and having us put the broken xBox in the same box. then once you recieve the broken XBox you charge our account back.
THAT’S HOW TO DO IT!
So the last week has been extremely difficult and frustrating for me concerning my computer…My computer. What can I say? It’s not happy and no I ‘m not typing it so I did not solve the problem.
On Tuesday I came up to my studio (a converted guest house in the back) to find a command prompt with the words
Can Not Find the file hal.dll… Please reinstall it and continue.
Well that first of all sucks because it means that my data on there is gone… but that’s not really that bad, having so many other times where I had problems with hard drives etc. I have been diligent with backing up my files and seldom even put them on the C Drive so I was pleased with myself that I had beaten Micro$oft in it’s attempts to destroy me!
I actually laughed out loud!
Still, it meant a complete reinstall which bites.
So I fire up my trusty, fully legal I might add, copy of Windows XP but guess what…
The #@%$@^^ computer won’t start from a %!$@$#^ CD.
I tried 12 times but it wouldn’t start no matter what I did.
I know, I know… there are those of you thinking right now that I needed to set the BIOS to boot from CD first right?
Well I DID that.
Still didn’t work.
So now I’m thinking my computer is fried. Completely gone… crying in the Netherworld heap of dead computers wailing in some cyber-world of doom. Crying for me.
Well, I just turned the damn thing off and cursed for a while as I do, kicking things in my path as I stalked around my tiny little studio inventing new curse words and vowing to destroy all computers because I hated them fiercely….
I stalked out of the room raising my one fingered salute towards the new-born door stop that was once my friend.
About a half hour later I came back and remembered I had left my boot disk in the drive so I fired it up fully knowing that it was going to blatently laugh at me with it’s missing file. taunting… DARING me to find new words to curse it with.
Well I was up for the challenge!
I started that sucker up and thought of a few choice new curses made up explicitly for my stupid computer.
But it didn’t happen.
The damn thing started up and booted from the friggin’ CD!
Anyway, so I reinstalled the operating system and all was great for about two days… My computer and I had made friends… we danced merrily hand in hand in cyber space glancing at one another furtively… There qas nothing that could break us apart.
Or was there?
Suddenly in the midst of my exploration of 3D bliss and learning my selfish and careless computer absent-mindedly lost the frickin hal.dll file yet again! STUPID FOOLISH COMPUTER!
I JUST DON’T KNOW.
It’s dead. My computer is gone. In the archives. Deceased. An EX Computer.
HAH! I’m using my Mac Mini!
The one I loathed and sneered at, laughing at it’s silly slow ass beach ball and it’s lazy candy cane attitude dancing happily as I turn it on.
I HATE that.
For My Democrat Friends:
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2007, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere.
Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee. By accepting these greetings, you are accepting the aforementioned terms as stated. This greeting is not subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for herself/himself/others, and is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the
issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wish.
For My Republican Friends:
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Read below and you will see that it’s the lawyers that are killing this country. All by themselves. If this is true, it is a pitiful example of the cesspool our country is cascading into. Isn’t there some way to stop this? It’s outrageous! No WONDER there are no such things as Mom & Pop shops anymore! Who could afford to stay in business. Are people REALLY this stupid? I had thought we as a people were a bit better than this. Clearly we’re not if this is true. If you’re thinking of getting into law school… think again. We have enough people ruining this great country. We don’t need you too.
Whoops! If some kid reads this and changes his mind and becomes a pizza boy instead, does that give his mother the right to sue me for a life he could have had?
Our System Sucks” 2005 Stella Awards Time once again to review the winners of the Annual “Stella Awards.
” The Stella Awards are named after 81 year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled hot
coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald’s (in NM). That case inspired the Stella Awards for the most frivolous, ridiculous, successful
lawsuits in the United States.
Here are this year’s winners:
5th Place (tie): Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $80,000. by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little toddler was Ms. Robertson’s son.
5th Place (tie): 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn’t notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor’s hubcaps.
5th Place (tie): Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He
couldn’t re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner’s insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed, to the tune of $500,000. In my opinion this is so outrageous that it; should have been 2nd Place
4th Place: Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500. and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor’s beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner’s fenced yard. The award was
less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who had climbed over the fence into the yard and was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.
3rd Place: A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500. after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.
2nd Place: Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a night club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.
1st Place: This year’s runaway winner was Mrs. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mrs. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home, (from an OU football game), having driven onto the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver’s seat to go into the back & make herself a sandwich. Not surprisingly, the RV left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mrs.Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising her in the owner’s manual that she couldn’t actually do this. The jury awarded her $1,750,000. plus a new motor home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case there were any other complete morons around .