Mike Milo's Journal

So this morning I wake up in a pretty decent mood. I trudge out to the kitchen to kiss my wife who got up early to make me pot luck stuff for my Christmas party at work. On my way I stumble on the carpet mat for my desk chair and my foot gets caught under it and I scrape my entire foot across its sharp spikes that prevent it from sliding. Now if I can manage to mame myself in the first 30 seconds of waking up,
its gonna be a good day ladies and gentlemen!

I don’t know if there’s any one else out there who’s ever bought a TV and lost the manual only to find later that you need it to reset the moronic V-Chip in it to watch anything but Sponge Bob but… in case anyone ever does look it up on the web, I have not found this answer anywhere else so I will post it on my blog to stand as a beacon and a thumb in the eye of Bill stupid ass Clinton and his clowny time V-Chip. To reset the Megavision Hyvision 192 TV/monitor’s V-chip setting (and for the most part any other V-Chip enabled TV who’s manual you’ve lost) all you need to do is type in 0000 (numbers not letters) and it will unlock the stupid v-chip lock. I hope this helps!

A man and his wife were working in their garden one day and the man looks over at his wife and says:
“Your butt is getting really big, I mean really big. I bet your butt is bigger than the barbecue.”
With that he proceeded to get a measuring tape
and measured the grill and then went over to where
his wife was working and measured his wife’s bottom. Yes, I was
right, your butt is two inches wider than the barbecue!!!”
The woman chose to ignore her husband. Later that nigh t in bed, the
husband is feeling a little frisky. He makes some advances towards
his wife who completely brushes him off.
What’s wrong?” he asks.
She answers: “Do you really think I’m going to fire up this big-ass
grill for one little weenie?”

Okay maybe this isn’t perfectly accurate but ya gotta admit… there’s are a few things that are pretty close here…

If a conservative doesn’t like guns, he doesn’t buy one. If a liberal doesn’t like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.
If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn’t eat meat. If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.
If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life. If a liberal is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.
If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation. A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.
If a conservative doesn’t like a talk show host, he switches channels. Liberals demand that those they don’t like be shut down.
If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church. A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced.
(Unless it’s a foreign religion, of course!)
If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it. A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.
If a conservative reads this, he’ll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh. A liberal will delete it because he’s “offended”.

Guy goes into a bar, there’s a robot bartender.

The robot says, ”What will you have?”

2010 Census Information  

Please pass along.  Be careful and secure.

WARNING: 2010 Census Cautions from the Better Business Bureau Be Cautious About Giving Info to Census Workers by Susan Johnson   With the U.S. Census process beginning, the Better Business Bureau (BBB) advises people to be cooperative, but cautious, so as not to become a victim of fraud or identity theft. The first phase of the 2010 U..S. Census is under way as workers have begun verifying the addresses of households across the country. Eventually, more than 140,000 U.S. Census workers will count every person in the United States and will gather information about every person living at each address including name, age, gender, race, and other relevant data.   The big question is – how do you tell the difference between a U..S. Census worker and a con artist? BBB offers the following advice:   ** If a U.S. Census worker knocks on your door, they will have a badge, a handheld device, a Census Bureau canvas bag, and a confidentiality notice.. Ask to see their identification and their badge before answering their questions.  However, you should never invite anyone you don’t know into your home.
** Census workers are currently only knocking on doors to verify address information.   Do not give your Social Security number, credit card or banking information to anyone, even if they claim they need it for the U.S. Census.   While the Census Bureau might ask for basic financial information, such as a salary range, YOU DON’T HAVE TO ANSWER ANYTHING AT ALL ABOUT YOUR FINANCIAL SITUATION. The Census Bureau will not ask for Social Security, bank account, or credit card numbers, nor will employees solicit donations. Any one asking for that information is NOT with the Census Bureau..
Eventually, Census workers may contact you by telephone, mail, or in person at home. However, the Census Bureau will not contact you by Email, so be on the lookout for Email scams impersonating the Census.   Never click on a link or open any attachments in an Email that are supposedly from the U.S. Census Bureau.

PLEASE SHARE THIS INFO WITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS

It’s a tough, but heartwarming story ….. with a picture of John Gebhardt in Iraq.

John Gebhardt’s wife, Mindy, said that this little girl’s entire family was executed. The insurgents intended to

execute the little girl also, and shot her in the head … but they failed to kill her.  She was cared for in John’s

hospital and is healing up, but continues to cry and moan.  The nurses said John is the only one who seems

to calm her down, so John has spent the last four nights holding her while they both slept in that chair.  The

girl is coming along with her healing.  He is a real Star of the war, and represents what America is trying to do.

This, my friends, is worth sharing.  Go for it!!  You’ll never see things like this in the news.  Please keep this

going.  Nothing will happen if you don’t, but the American public needs to see pictures like this and needs to

realize that what we’re doing over there is making a difference.  Even if it is just one little girl at a time.

James Gates
U.. S. Navy

Recently, someone unearthed some fantastic photos taken 68 years ago with a Brownie camera by a sailor who was on the USS QUAPAW ATF-11O during the attack on Pearl Harbor! Isn’t is amazing how a film could last so long in a camera without disintegrating?

Some of you will have to go to a museum to see what a Brownie camera looked like… there’s a pic below.

::EDIT:: As it turns out these are NOT from a brownie camera found a long time ago as many have pointed out to me. pparently they are official naval photos. Still pretty cool pictures though.

PEARL HARBOR

December 7th, 1941

A little bit about Pearl Harbor in case you don’t know…

On Sunday, December 7th, 1941 the Japanese launched a surprise attack against the U.S. Forces stationed at Pearl Harbor , Hawaii By planning this attack on a Sunday, the Japanese commander Admiral Nagumo, hoped to catch the entire fleet in port. As luck would have it, the Aircraft Carriers and one of the Battleships were not in port. (The USS Enterprise was returning from Wake Island , where it had just delivered some aircraft. The USS Lexington was ferrying aircraft to Midway, and the USS Saratoga and USS Colorado were undergoing repairs in the United States .)

In spite of the latest intelligence reports about the missing aircraft carriers (his most important targets), Admiral Nagumo decided to continue the attack with his force of six carriers and 423 aircraft. At a range of 230 miles north of Oahu , he launched the first wave of a two-wave attack. Beginning at 0600 hours his first wave consisted of 183 fighters and torpedo bombers which struck at the fleet in Pearl Harbor and the airfields in Hickam, Kaneohe and Ewa. The second strike, launched at 0715 hours, consisted of 167 aircraft, which again struck at the same targets.

At 0753 hours the first wave consisting of 40 Nakajima B5N2 ‘Kate’ torpedo bombers, 51 Aichi D3A1 ‘Val’ dive bombers, 50 high altitude bombers and 43 Zeros struck airfields and Pearl Harbor Within the next hour, the second wave arrived and continued the attack.
When it was over, the U.S. Losses were:

Casualties
US Army: 218 KIA, 364 WIA.
US Navy: 2,008 KIA, 710 WIA.
US MarineCorp: 109 KIA, 69 WIA.
Civilians: 68 KIA, 35 WIA.

TOTAL: 2,403 KIA, 1,178 WIA.
————————————————-

Battleships
USS Arizona (BB-39) – total loss when a bomb hit her magazine.
USS Oklahoma (BB-37) – Total loss when she capsized and sunk in the harbor.
USS California (BB-4 4) – Sunk at her berth. Later raised and repaired.
USS West Virginia (BB-48) – Sunk at her berth. Later raised and repaired.
USS Nevada – (BB-36) Beached to prevent sinking. Later repaired.
USS Pennsylvania (BB-38) – Light damage.
USS Maryland (BB-46) – Light damage.
USS Tennessee (BB-43) Light damage.
USS Utah (AG-16) – (former battleship used as a target) – Sunk.
————————————————————————————————————————–
Cruisers
USS New Orleans (CA-32) – Light Damage..
USS San Francisco (CA-38) – Light Damage.
USS Detroit (CL-8) – Light Damage.
USS Raleigh (CL-7) – Heavily damaged but repaired.
USS Helena (CL-50) – Light Damage.
USS Honolulu (CL-48) – Light Damage..
————————– — —————————- —————————————————————
Destroyers
USS Downes (DD-375) – Destroyed. Parts salvaged.
USS Cassin – (DD -3 7 2) Destroyed. Parts salvaged.
USS Shaw (DD-373) – Very heavy damage.
USS Helm (DD-388) – Light Damage.
———————————————————————————————————————-
Minelayer
USS Ogala (CM-4) – Sunk but later raised and repaired.
———————————————————————————-
Seaplane Tender
USS Curtiss (AV-4) – Severely damaged but later repaired.
————————————————————————————
Repair Ship
USS Vestal (AR-4) – Severely damaged but later repaired.
————————————————————————————
Harbor Tug
USS Sotoyomo (YT-9) – Sunk but later raised and repaired.
——————————————————————————————–
Aircraft
188 Aircraft destroyed (92 USN and 92 U.S. Army Air Corps.)

Share this with your Loved ones of ALL ages…Elderly will remember, Young will be Awed.

The Worlds Shortest Books
________________________________________
THINGS I LOVE ABOUT MY COUNTRY
by Jane Fonda & Cindy Sheehan.
Illustrated  by Michael Moore
________________________________________
MY CHRISTIAN ACCOMPLISHMENTS &
HOW I HELPED AFTER  KATRINA
by Rev Jesse Jackson & Rev Al Sharpton
_______________________________________

THINGS I  LOVE ABOUT BILL
by Hillary Clinton
________________________________
Sequel:
THINGS I LOVE ABOUT HILLARY
By Bill  Clinton
___________________________________
MY LITTLE BOOK OF PERSONAL HYGIENE
by Osama Bin Laden
___________________________________
THINGS I  CANNOT AFFORD
by Bill Gates

____________________________________
THINGS I  WOULD NOT DO FOR MONEY
by Dennis Rodman
_________________________________
THINGS WE KNOW TO BE TRUE
by Al Gore & John Kerry
_____________________________________

AMELIA EARHART’S GUIDE TO THE PACIFIC

___________________________________
A COLLECTION of MOTIVATIONAL SPEECHES
by Dr. J.. Kevorkian
__________________________________

ALL THE MEN WE HAVE LOVED, BEFORE ….
by Ellen de Generes & Rosie O’Donnel
____________________________________

GUIDE TO DATING ETIQUETTE
by Mike Tyson
__________________________________

THE AMISH  PHONE DIRECTORY
_______________________________________

MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS
by O. J. Simpson
_________________________________________
HOW TO DRINK & DRIVE OVER BRIDGES
by Ted Kennedy
___________________________________
MY BOOK OF MORALS
by Bill Clinton with introduction
by the Rev. Jesse Jackson
*******************************************************

AND, JUST ADDED:
Complete Knowledge of Military Strategy!
By Nancy  Pelosi

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.
Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.
‘Careful,’ he said, ‘CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You’re cooking too many at once.. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They’re going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you’re cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don’t forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the! salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!’
The wife stared at him.
‘What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don’t know how to fry a couple of eggs?’
The husband calmly replied, ‘I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I’m driving.’