Mike Milo’s Journal

A man and his wife were working in their garden one day and the man looks over at his wife and says:
“Your butt is getting really big, I mean really big. I bet your butt is bigger than the barbecue.”
With that he proceeded to get a measuring tape
and measured the grill and then went over to where
his wife was working and measured his wife’s bottom. Yes, I was
right, your butt is two inches wider than the barbecue!!!”
The woman chose to ignore her husband. Later that nigh t in bed, the
husband is feeling a little frisky. He makes some advances towards
his wife who completely brushes him off.
What’s wrong?” he asks.
She answers: “Do you really think I’m going to fire up this big-ass
grill for one little weenie?”

Okay maybe this isn’t perfectly accurate but ya gotta admit… there’s are a few things that are pretty close here…

If a conservative doesn’t like guns, he doesn’t buy one. If a liberal doesn’t like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.
If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn’t eat meat. If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.
If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life. If a liberal is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.
If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation. A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.
If a conservative doesn’t like a talk show host, he switches channels. Liberals demand that those they don’t like be shut down.
If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church. A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced.
(Unless it’s a foreign religion, of course!)
If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it. A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.
If a conservative reads this, he’ll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh. A liberal will delete it because he’s “offended”.

Guy goes into a bar, there’s a robot bartender.

The robot says, ”What will you have?”