A man and his wife were working in their garden one day and the man looks over at his wife and says:
“Your butt is getting really big, I mean really big. I bet your butt is bigger than the barbecue.”
With that he proceeded to get a measuring tape
and measured the grill and then went over to where
his wife was working and measured his wife’s bottom. Yes, I was
right, your butt is two inches wider than the barbecue!!!”
The woman chose to ignore her husband. Later that nigh t in bed, the
husband is feeling a little frisky. He makes some advances towards
his wife who completely brushes him off.
What’s wrong?” he asks.
She answers: “Do you really think I’m going to fire up this big-ass
grill for one little weenie?”
A man and his wife were working in their garden one day and the man looks over at his wife and says:
If a conservative doesn’t like guns, he doesn’t buy one. If a liberal doesn’t like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.
If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn’t eat meat. If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.
If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life. If a liberal is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.
If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation. A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.
If a conservative doesn’t like a talk show host, he switches channels. Liberals demand that those they don’t like be shut down.
If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church. A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced.
(Unless it’s a foreign religion, of course!)
If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it. A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.
If a conservative reads this, he’ll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh. A liberal will delete it because he’s “offended”.
The robot says, ”What will you have?”
says to the man, ”What’s your IQ?” The guy says, “168.”
The robot then proceeds to talk about physics,
space exploration and medical technology
The guy leaves, but he is curious…
So he goes back into the bar.
The robot bartender says, “What wil
l you have?”
The guy says, “Martini.”
Again, the robot makes a great martini gives
it to the man and says,
“What’s your IQ?” The guy
The robot then starts to talk about Nascar,
Budweiser and John Deere tractors.
The guy leaves, but finds it very
interesting, so he thinks he will try it one more time..
He goes back into the bar. The robot
says, ”What will you have?”
The guy says, “Martini,” and
the robot brings him another great martini.
The robot then says, “What’s your IQ?”
The guy says, “Uh, about 50.”
The robot leans in real close and says,
“So, you people still happy you voted
Please pass along. Be careful and secure.
WARNING: 2010 Census Cautions from the Better Business Bureau Be Cautious About Giving Info to Census Workers by Susan Johnson With the U.S. Census process beginning, the Better Business Bureau (BBB) advises people to be cooperative, but cautious, so as not to become a victim of fraud or identity theft. The first phase of the 2010 U..S. Census is under way as workers have begun verifying the addresses of households across the country. Eventually, more than 140,000 U.S. Census workers will count every person in the United States and will gather information about every person living at each address including name, age, gender, race, and other relevant data. The big question is – how do you tell the difference between a U..S. Census worker and a con artist? BBB offers the following advice: ** If a U.S. Census worker knocks on your door, they will have a badge, a handheld device, a Census Bureau canvas bag, and a confidentiality notice.. Ask to see their identification and their badge before answering their questions. However, you should never invite anyone you don’t know into your home.
** Census workers are currently only knocking on doors to verify address information. Do not give your Social Security number, credit card or banking information to anyone, even if they claim they need it for the U.S. Census. While the Census Bureau might ask for basic financial information, such as a salary range, YOU DON’T HAVE TO ANSWER ANYTHING AT ALL ABOUT YOUR FINANCIAL SITUATION. The Census Bureau will not ask for Social Security, bank account, or credit card numbers, nor will employees solicit donations. Any one asking for that information is NOT with the Census Bureau..
Eventually, Census workers may contact you by telephone, mail, or in person at home. However, the Census Bureau will not contact you by Email, so be on the lookout for Email scams impersonating the Census. Never click on a link or open any attachments in an Email that are supposedly from the U.S. Census Bureau.
PLEASE SHARE THIS INFO WITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS
I don’t know if I’m the only one who wants to do this but from time to time I want a custom icon for either a program or a folder I have on my computer.
For instance, I am part of the beta team for Autodesk’s Sketchbook Pro but the icon for the beta and the most recent version you can buy are exactly the same and it’s hard to tell them apart on my Dock on the Mac and my Quick launch on the PC, so I set out to create a new one for the program. In my case all I did was find a photo of the original icon and tweak with the Hue/Saturation tool in Photoshop but read on and you will see there are other things you can do such as create your own icons with your computer!
Changing an icon on a Mac is pretty easy…
- right click on the icon you want to change and the icon (or picture) you want to use and then select “Get Info” from the pull down menu (Fig-1).
- A window will come up giving you options about that particular icon.
- Click the top icon (Fig-2)
- Select Edit>Copy from the File menu.
- Then navigate to the icon you want to change, and redo steps 2 and 3.
- Select Edit>Paste from the File menu.
- Viola’! Pat yourself on the back because you’ve just changed your icon!
Clever, clever you! :-)
Now for the PC it’s a bit more involved but nothing too complicated.
- Right Click on the folder or program icon you would like to change and select “Properties” from the pull down menu (Fig-3).
- A window will come up and you should select the “Customize” tab (Fig-4).
- From there Select “Change Icon” (Fig-5) and navigate to the new icon you would like to replace the old one with. There are many places on the web to download free replacement icons for the PC. Here’s one site that gives many links to icon sites.
What’s that you say? You want to express yourself and create a brand new icon or turn a picture into an icon? Well if you have Photoshop it’s pretty easy. There is a free plugin you can download from Telegraphics which will allow you to open and save out in Window’s .ico format!If you use it regularly I suggest you give hima a donation through Paypal to thank him.
Falco Icon Studio works well and will let you edit and create icons for your PC.
For the Mac, you can use Iconographer
So there you have it! What will people say when they see all those spiffy custom icons you’ve created for yourself?
They will marvel at your greatness of course! :-)
I read a question on a Flash forum recently asking for help in animating a logo of a person riding a bike. They uploaded the drawing they wanted and since I’m that kind of guy who tries to help I answered him…
Here’s what I wrote in case any of you want to learn this yourself!
Here is what you should do:
Open your image in something like Photoshop and lasso the first wheel and hit CTRL-X to cut it from the image. The wheel will disappear. Then go to File> New and create a new file. Hit CTRL-V to paste the wheel into the new file you just created. Save it as “wheel 1″
do the same for the second wheel and save it as “wheel 2″
save the rest of your image as “bike”.
Hit F8 and a dialog box will come up. Call it “Bike animation”.
Now Hit F11 and your Library will come up. Double click the Bike Animation clip and it will open in the timeline. Nothing will be there yet though.
Now go to File> Import> Import Image
Navigate to the freshly created files on your computer and click OK
You images will appear on the timeline.
Click and drag to select them all or hold down Shift and click each one. then right click on the art on the stage and select “Distribute to layers” the files will now all be on their own layer.
Manipulate the two wheels to where you want them on the stage. If they are beneath the bike then reorder the layers how you want them to bem by dragging them above or below the others. Right Click on each wheel and select Transform. The blue box around your wheel should change to black and have little handles at each corner. There will also be a little white dot roughtly in the center of the image. This is your pivot point. If it is not already, move it to the center of your wheel. Do the same for the 2nd wheel.
Now go to the 8th frame on the timeline.
Hit F6 on your keyboard.
This will make the total length of the scene 8 frames long. You should have two dots one on the first frame one on the last frame. Do the same for each layer so they are all the same amount of frames.
Now select the two wheels and right click on the selected area and select “Motion Tween”.
Now your two wheel layers will be blue with an arror going form the first frame to the last frame.
Go to frame 4 on the first wheel and right click and select create keyframe from the pulldown menu that comes up. When you do you will see a new black dot.
Rotate the wheel by right clicking the wheel and selecting transform. When you move the mouse to one of the corners the mouse will change to a rotate icon. Rotate the wheel sideways.
Do the same for your other wheel.
Under the timeline to the left under the layers area you should see “Scene 1>Bike Animation” Click Scene 1 and the bike will disappear.
Now hit F11 again and the Library will come up again. Drag the bike animation clip from the Library onto the Stage.
Place it where you want it. You can also resize it.
Now hit Ctrl Enter and your little film should play. Tweak until it looks good to you.
If you want the bike to move up and down as it animates, then go to frame 8 on the main stage and hit F5 . This will give you a frame range of 8 frames again like we did earlier BUT it will not put a keyfraem at the end of the sequence. We’ll do that in a second.
Go to frame 8 and right click on it and select Create Motion Tween. Again your frames will change to blue etc.
NOTE: When a Tween is invoked in Flash, you can ONLY select a keyframe and not any fraem. it HAS to have a black dot on it for you to be able to select it.
Right click on the bike on frame 1 and select Transform and move the pivit point (white circle) to the bottom of the black box. Now go to frame 4 and right click and select create keyframe. Now select the top middle controller on the transform box and squish your drawing slightly to make it seem like it’s lowering a bit. Only the top will squish and the bottom of the drawing will stay as is because of the pivot point’s position.
Hit CTRL enter and your little bike guy should animate and slightly go up and down as well!
Here’s what it essentially will look like.
The drawing itself is not the best to animate with mostly because of the odd shaped wheels but you can clearly get the idea. He should also be able to animate his legs up and down but that’s a lesson for another time.
You’re an animatin’ fool!
That’s about it.
I hope this helps
UPDATE: Flash is weird sometimes and tweening images especially a circle can be troublesome because if it rotates around too far between two keyframes Flash takes the shorter way and rotates the opposite direction so in order to get the wheels to turn correctly you have to do it in small increments by rotating a bit on the 2nd frame, then going to the 4th frame and rotating a little more and so on. Also when animating a wheel it’s hard to see the rotation correctly because it all pretty much looks the same so a trick you can do is to double click inside the wheel clip, place a small square at the top of the wheel and then go back tot he stage and animate the wheeel. this way you can see how far it turns each keyframe! When you’re done simply remove the square and you’re good to go!
Boy this iPhone thing just gets bigger and bigger! Now there’s even an app to let me blog from my phone. I use a sevice called WordPress which allows me to host the blogs contents on my own server (well, technically its my brother’s server) which is easier in the long run.
Now if they could just allow the damn thing to rotate sideways so my sausage fingers can type decently I’d be in business! It’s supposed to work but I can’t as of yet get it to rotate. It’s pretty neat though and as you can see, you can even add photos.
It’s a tough, but heartwarming story ….. with a picture of John Gebhardt in Iraq.
John Gebhardt’s wife, Mindy, said that this little girl’s entire family was executed. The insurgents intended to
execute the little girl also, and shot her in the head … but they failed to kill her. She was cared for in John’s
hospital and is healing up, but continues to cry and moan. The nurses said John is the only one who seems
to calm her down, so John has spent the last four nights holding her while they both slept in that chair. The
girl is coming along with her healing. He is a real Star of the war, and represents what America is trying to do.
This, my friends, is worth sharing. Go for it!! You’ll never see things like this in the news. Please keep this
going. Nothing will happen if you don’t, but the American public needs to see pictures like this and needs to
realize that what we’re doing over there is making a difference. Even if it is just one little girl at a time.
U.. S. Navy
Recently, someone unearthed some fantastic photos taken 68 years ago with a Brownie camera by a sailor who was on the USS QUAPAW ATF-11O during the attack on Pearl Harbor! Isn’t is amazing how a film could last so long in a camera without disintegrating?
Some of you will have to go to a museum to see what a Brownie camera looked like… there’s a pic below.
::EDIT:: As it turns out these are NOT from a brownie camera found a long time ago as many have pointed out to me. pparently they are official naval photos. Still pretty cool pictures though.
December 7th, 1941
A little bit about Pearl Harbor in case you don’t know…
On Sunday, December 7th, 1941 the Japanese launched a surprise attack against the U.S. Forces stationed at Pearl Harbor , Hawaii By planning this attack on a Sunday, the Japanese commander Admiral Nagumo, hoped to catch the entire fleet in port. As luck would have it, the Aircraft Carriers and one of the Battleships were not in port. (The USS Enterprise was returning from Wake Island , where it had just delivered some aircraft. The USS Lexington was ferrying aircraft to Midway, and the USS Saratoga and USS Colorado were undergoing repairs in the United States .)
In spite of the latest intelligence reports about the missing aircraft carriers (his most important targets), Admiral Nagumo decided to continue the attack with his force of six carriers and 423 aircraft. At a range of 230 miles north of Oahu , he launched the first wave of a two-wave attack. Beginning at 0600 hours his first wave consisted of 183 fighters and torpedo bombers which struck at the fleet in Pearl Harbor and the airfields in Hickam, Kaneohe and Ewa. The second strike, launched at 0715 hours, consisted of 167 aircraft, which again struck at the same targets.
At 0753 hours the first wave consisting of 40 Nakajima B5N2 ‘Kate’ torpedo bombers, 51 Aichi D3A1 ‘Val’ dive bombers, 50 high altitude bombers and 43 Zeros struck airfields and Pearl Harbor Within the next hour, the second wave arrived and continued the attack.
When it was over, the U.S. Losses were:
US Army: 218 KIA, 364 WIA.
US Navy: 2,008 KIA, 710 WIA.
US MarineCorp: 109 KIA, 69 WIA.
Civilians: 68 KIA, 35 WIA.
TOTAL: 2,403 KIA, 1,178 WIA.
USS Arizona (BB-39) – total loss when a bomb hit her magazine.
USS Oklahoma (BB-37) – Total loss when she capsized and sunk in the harbor.
USS California (BB-4 4) – Sunk at her berth. Later raised and repaired.
USS West Virginia (BB-48) – Sunk at her berth. Later raised and repaired.
USS Nevada – (BB-36) Beached to prevent sinking. Later repaired.
USS Pennsylvania (BB-38) – Light damage.
USS Maryland (BB-46) – Light damage.
USS Tennessee (BB-43) Light damage.
USS Utah (AG-16) – (former battleship used as a target) – Sunk.
USS New Orleans (CA-32) – Light Damage..
USS San Francisco (CA-38) – Light Damage.
USS Detroit (CL-8) – Light Damage.
USS Raleigh (CL-7) – Heavily damaged but repaired.
USS Helena (CL-50) – Light Damage.
USS Honolulu (CL-48) – Light Damage..
————————– — —————————- —————————————————————
USS Downes (DD-375) – Destroyed. Parts salvaged.
USS Cassin – (DD -3 7 2) Destroyed. Parts salvaged.
USS Shaw (DD-373) – Very heavy damage.
USS Helm (DD-388) – Light Damage.
USS Ogala (CM-4) – Sunk but later raised and repaired.
USS Curtiss (AV-4) – Severely damaged but later repaired.
USS Vestal (AR-4) – Severely damaged but later repaired.
USS Sotoyomo (YT-9) – Sunk but later raised and repaired.
188 Aircraft destroyed (92 USN and 92 U.S. Army Air Corps.)
Share this with your Loved ones of ALL ages…Elderly will remember, Young will be Awed.